My first chemo infusion I came ready for battle. I had my Fuck Cancer shirt on, I ate Dicks with abandon and repeated my mantra, ‘you got this’. Number four is right around the corner and I’ve lost a little bit of my spunk. I still repeat my mantra and flip the bird to cancer daily, but I can’t fathom ever eating another Dicks cheeseburger again and the mere thought of the infusion ward makes my mouth water with nausea. I receive chemo every other Tuesday and the first week is typically filled with body aches, nausea, headaches and an overall feeling of ick. The feel good week following I feel more like myself (just a tired version) and can almost get excited about another infusion because that means one more down. I’m on a feel good week now and next Tuesday is half way, 4 out of 8 done! In addition, it’s the end of the Adriamycin/Cytoxan cocktail. The following 4 will be Taxol, which I hear isn’t quite as bad….we’ll see.
Two days after my second infusion, exactly when my oncologist said it would, my hair started falling out. I could run my fingers through my hair and my and pull out handfuls. Perhaps at a different time in my life or if I was going through this decades ago the hair loss would be an issue for me. I think the empowering photos of bald confident women kicking breast cancers ass (and Charlize Theron in Mad Max) made the hair loss for me a non-issue. I kind of like it. Not that the buzz cut is staying or anything but I don’t feel ashamed or embarrassed of my new do at all.
The night of the shaving. Face Timing with your best friend, as you do.
Casey did a pretty good job!
Someone else got a haircut too. Unlike his Mom, he was pissed about it.